Hope, Cope, and Float
Pursuing Passions with Radical Acceptance for Inner Peace
I am constantly learning from my children. Have you noticed that you do the same? Motherhood is such an incredible journey, and I count it a privilege beyond belief to carry this honor. At age seventeen, medical professionals told me I may not be able to have children. As a soon-to-be adult, that news was difficult to process, but my chances weren’t zero, so I remained hopeful.
I have felt called to be a mom since I was a very young child. Most of my pretend play, solo or with friends, revolved around caring for and teaching children. At the time, it didn’t occur to me to think beyond my childhood years when role-playing motherhood. It made sense, of course, as I only had my lived experience to draw from then, and I couldn’t have predicted what life would be like with grown children.
Much to my surprise, once I became a mom and my children grew into incredible adults themselves, I have been able to experience the unexpected. While mothering my kids when they were young, I always thought my role would be to foster a strong attachment, model, lead, and teach my kids while showing them as much love as possible. That continues to be so, but they mirror back the same to me as long as I continue to allow a safe space for vulnerability, growth, and connection. It’s so fun! I thank them often for teaching me new perspectives, and I am so grateful for their invitations to view life from their lens. They celebrate things that don’t always occur to me to celebrate, and they have fears that have never crossed my mind to consider. It’s such a gift and one I do not take for granted.
Our world looks so different than it did in the past. And it is changing rapidly as we speak. Nature teaches us that resilience exists and persists, even when it doesn’t seem possible. There is such comfort in knowing that to be true. I aim to practice resilience while continuing to challenge myself to pursue my life’s purpose and passions.
As my therapist likes to point out, I am a thinker. Yes, I regularly see a therapist, and it has become a non-negotiable in my life. I highly recommend adding therapy to life’s routine. During the good times, bad times, and in-between times, therapy has helped me understand how to be a thinker in this world and use it as a superpower to pursue my passions. What’s my passion? My kids and their thriving future.
I want to contribute to building a future that they can thrive in! I want them to be able to look forward with healthy doses of hope and radical acceptance when things feel out of control. With the results of the recent election in the US and the unknowns that lie ahead regarding the state of our nation, the safety and survival of our most vulnerable populations are top of mind. It can feel overwhelming if we let it, but we can hope AND cope by remembering the following:
How I react in this situation is what I can control right now.
I can’t change what has already happened. It is what it is.
I won’t waste my time or energy fighting the past. It won’t change anything.
I can’t predict the future, but I am okay with that.
I might not like it, but this is what happened. I don’t have to make myself like it, either.
I have dealt with difficulties before and I can deal with this.
The present is the only moment I have control over.
Only some things will go my way, but I can be flexible. I have been flexible before, and I was okay.
I won’t stress over the things I can’t change. My health depends on it.
This situation is only temporary.
I don’t have control over the past. I can learn from history.
I can accept things the way they are.
To be clear, radical acceptance is not an effort to dismiss truth or allow mistreatment of self or others. Standing up for oneself is always essential to living our best lives. Instead, radical acceptance provides for an “and” in life. It is possible to stand up for what we believe in AND pursue goals based on our values while understanding that many facets of life are not in our control.
When I practice radical acceptance while remaining hopeful and focused on my passions and reflecting on how I feel when I do so, I realize I feel light, like I am floating above any problems that lie below. It is such a peaceful feeling. It is like being able to zoom way out to gain a much broader perspective. This is a daily, sometimes hourly, practice. I have surrounded myself with people who ground me in this commitment, reminding me that it is essential that my kids, even as adults, see me hope and cope in this way.
It only fits that during the exact week when I am reminding myself of the importance of radical acceptance, my kids mirror this back at me in often subtle ways, and they do so without even knowing it. It’s no coincidence that one of my kids just composed a song, performed by four instrumentalists last night, titled Float. It took my breath away to absorb the experience.
I invite you to float along with me on Substack. I enjoy being in a community with folks who feel that women, especially mothers, are a critical part of humanity’s success and the raising of the future of the world; who foster belonging, who feel compelled to leave behind meaning and worth for our collective children; who believe the world benefits the most from what each person has to offer; and who enjoys connecting with Mother Earth as she gives us grounding and a peaceful center which are essential to leading our best lives.
I am a connector, a collaborator, and a teacher. I founded a nonprofit, Fearless Farmers, to contribute to building 1000 thriving regenerative communities by 2030. Our children’s emerging future depends entirely on adults committed to regeneration today. As we create a regenerative community on Substack, I will share opportunities for connection, observations, reflections, and action steps we can all take here.
I would love to celebrate your regenerative journey with you. How have your children helped you discover ways to hope, cope, and float during these transitional and transformational times?
Amy Milliron
Resilient Nurturer